The next morning I was up around 10 or so and (for the most part) I was hangover-free. I showered and moleskin'ed and hit the road. This time I turned right instead of my usual left and walked towards the Prudential Center shopping mall. My goal: Boston Duck Tours.

Boston Duck Tour buses are everywhere. They have a fleet of at least 20, from what I can tell, and they're always full and quacking. That's right -- quacking. People on the tour are encouraged to give a hearty "quackquack" when prompted -- which is quite often, since locals on the street know enough to quack at the boats as they go by. The tours are immensely popular, because they've got a great gimmick -- the tours are given in army-surplus amphibious vehicles (circa 1950 or so) and the cars drive right into the Charles River for some marine sightseeing before climbing back onto the road.

On my way to buy my Duck Tour tickets I happened upon a little kiosk in the mall with a guy selling tea. He had some really interesting exotic leaves, mostly from China. I purchased three different ones, and he threw in a fourth. I talked to the proprietor for a bit and it turns out we have a similar aspiration: to open a tea shop. He's taken the first step with his little kiosk, but he said business had been slow. He's been open four months so far, and things have only started to pick up in the last month. Tea just hasn't yet attained the proper trendiness level yet. Part of me hopes it never does... I'd like to remain unique in this land of coffee addicts.

With my new acquisitions safely tucked into my backpack I continued on to the Duck Tours booth. A short line awaited me, and when I got to the front they told me that all their guaranteed seating was sold until 5pm. This was one popular tour. They did have "last to board" seats, which means you don't get a choice of where to sit. Not a big deal, but with the skies vaguely threatening rain chances are I wouldn't get to sit under the covered canopy. Even with "the last to board" ticket I wouldn't be able to get onto a bus until 1 pm. I paid my $20 (a bit more expensive than I had expected) and went off in search of lunch.

I soon located the mall's food court and settled down to some clam chowder and shepherd's pie. Mall food. Blah. I probably could have done better.

With another hour or so to kill I decided to head across the street to the big Christian Science center. On my way out, I passed a lady struggling with her cart as she tried to walk down a dysfunctional escalator. I offered to carry her cart down to the bottom -- man, was it heavy! I hope she noticed the Canadian flag on my backpack, and that she tells everyone how friendly and helpful Canadians are.

The Christian Science complex was pretty big and (with one notable exception) pretty bland. It's all fairly modern concrete and glass -- except for a huge, beautiful gothic temple. I don't really know anything about the Christian Science church, so I was a bit wary of being there. What if they tried to convert me? What if some church thugs didn't like me taking pictures? Ah, the fears of the ignorant... The place was strangely deserted. The temple was closed and the other buildings appeared official and unwelcoming. I finished my roll of film and started headed back to the mall.

The appointed time for my tour arrived, and I stood next to the assigned number, waiting for my boat/bus. I stood alone, which was strange since the tour was supposed to be sold out. I finally figured out that my boat/bus was done at the other end of the loading area and hopped on. I told the guy that the sign was in the wrong spot and he didn't seem to give a damn, but in a very friendly sort of way.

The benches on the bus were small and cramped, but I did get a seat under the canopy on the outside so I could take pictures. With everyone aboard our bus driver climbed on and began his spiel. He was a former policeman and a former air force something-or-other. He made some donut jokes and then we were off.

The tour was boring almost from the start. The driver's constant babble was pretty stale. He'd obviously been doing this a while. He tried his best to keep things interesting but when you've been saying the same thing every day for years and years I'm sure it's tough to get excited. His "quackquacks" were also less-than-enthusiastic and we didn't join in with the same vigour that I'd seen on other tours.

Boston is a really old city and just brimming with important American history. Unfortunately, I have no clue about American history (being Canadian) so most of the references were lost on me. The most exciting part of the trip was when we entered into the river. A bit of a splash, then we set off for a slow cruise up and down the Charles River. Some kids got to drive the boat, but there's really nothing to see along the water.

About twenty minutes later we climbed back onto the road and started our journey back to the mall. We passed through the North End neighborhood, where we could see some tinsel decorating the streets in celebration of an Italian festival. That sounded like an interesting place to be; unfortunately, I had to put up with another fifteen minutes' worth of tour bus talk. We arrived back at the mall after about ninety minutes on land and sea. Overall, I give the Boston Duck Tours a big thumbs-down.